Movement Poem

As I wade into the chilling water,
A shiver crawls down my spine.
Cautiously, I walk careful not to slip on any algae-covered rocks.
I take one slow step at a time, until the water touches my belly-button.
Then, I dunk my head.
My body feels instantly shocked and refreshingly free.
I swim up for a breath and notice
The current has moved me.
I scoop the water with my hands
And kick the flowing liquid with my legs
Despite the sun rays soaking into my head,
I dip my face in the water, and do not see the bottom.
Panting, I continue to swim as the current swiftly carries me.
I will never make it, I fear.
My arms are growing tired
And it feels as though
This never ending river has stretched wider.
I have almost run out of breath,
So I allow one last stroke
Until I give up.
But as I place my hands in front of me
Ready to disappear in this infinite flow of water
I grab hold of a slimy rock,
Realizing I have reached the shore
And stand up.

Responding to I Have Seen and Still Faces

     I read the poem Still Faces by Orion Scheideler. This poem included many elements of poetry and was very deep because of the word choices. In the line, "I have seen eyes longing for things to do," I really like how he personified the eyes by making them long to do something. In the line "the plainness and grayness I cause," he adds internal rhyme by making plainness and grayness sound alike. Since they are approximate, they are also assonance. I also like how he chose these words instead of just stating that his abstract noun causes boring things. When Orion wrote, "somethings will never change," I felt that this was very relatable to everyone and can have a different meaning for each reader.  Orion gave a great comparison when he said, "it is oatmeal without a sweetening," because I know how that tastes and I can sense what he is talking about along with my own opinion on it. This line also brings great imagery and I can visualize the oatmeal in my head. The phrase, "I have seen many still faces, many still faces," emphasizes how still the faces are by adding repetition. I think that the abstract noun this poem is about is boringness, especially because of the lines, "I have realized that people do not like me because I am what helps people not like anything," and "there is no taste or color to be enjoyed." This poem ended with the line, "Still with the hope of finding a road to travel." I feel that this is a strong ending because it leaves the reader with something to think about. Throughout his whole poem there are many elements of poetry such as repetition, rhyme, assonance, and a strong ending. Along with all of these things, he chose interesting words and used direct language. I think that this poem was meant to be a lyric poem because it expresses the personal feelings of a speaker, that speaker being his abstract noun.

     I also read the poem I Have Seen by Hazel Talkington. In the first two lines of her poem, "I have seen nothing but the empty dark of night Nothing, but grey nothingness," she repeats the word nothing a few times. I think she did this to not only add repetition, but emphasize the fact that there really was nothing. Also, between the words "seen" and "nothing" there is assonance. Hazel used a simile in the stanza, "I am trapped in a closet left behind, forgotten Like your old pair of neglected sneakers Wishing for somebody to open the doors and let the light in Yet nobody cares whether I am ripped or falling apart they just leave me here to suffer." It is also a metaphor when she says, "Wishing for somebody to open the doors and let the light in." I believe that it literally means her abstract noun is wishing for somebody to find her and bring happiness to her. While describing this simile, she personifies the sneakers by saying they suffer. I like how in the line, "I’d rather be the growing warmth that you feel inside when happy," she left it very open so that this feeling could be relatable to everyone. I can also really relate to the line about the juicy strawberry at the top of the bowl that is favored because it's very true with me and I do go for that one first. This line also has good imagery. In the line, "I have tasted the unwanted taste you rinse out of your mouth in the morning," there is a little bit of alliteration with the words mouth and morning. In the last phrase of Hazel's poem, "I have learned to live, to be unwanted for all I am is exactly that. Unwanted," the page break added a pause before she repeated the word "Unwanted." It's also a satisfying ending because her abstract noun's last word was Unwanted and that left me with a summery of the whole poem. I think that this poem, as well as Orion's, is a lyric poem because it tells the feelings of a speaker. I think her poem is about loneliness because of the words she uses like trapped, nothingness, and unwanted. Hazel used many elements of poetry in this poem and added a lot of imagery.

Sophie in the House!

Yo, Sophie in the house

You think you’re cooler than me?

Well, you ain’t nothin’ but a mouse,

Be careful not to eat this cheese.

You think you have the right

To criticize, antagonize,

Look into these eyes,

But you’re mistaken.

I hope you know

The coaster’s about to fall

You be boasting at the top

But you won’t be there for long.